The Unspoken Truth About Avoided Emotions: Where Feelings Go When You Ignore Them
It is a common human tendency to avoid difficult emotions. We distract, we rationalise, we push down feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety in the hope they will simply fade away. However, a critical truth in psychology and wellness is that avoided emotions do not vanish. Instead, they accumulate within the body, often shaping our reactions and wellbeing without our conscious permission.
The Body Keeps the Score
Emotions are, by their very nature, energetic experiences meant to move through us. The term "e-motion" implies motion. When this natural flow is impeded by avoidance, the emotional energy does not dissipate. It becomes stored. This storage manifests somatically, meaning in the body. You may recognise it as a persistent knot in your shoulders, unexplained digestive discomfort, a clenched jaw during sleep, or a general sense of fatigue that rest does not alleviate. The body becomes the archive for the feelings the mind refused to process.
From Accumulation to Reaction
This accumulation is not a passive process. Stored emotional energy influences your nervous system, keeping it in a state of low-grade alert. This can lead to what is known as "trigger stacking," where a minor inconvenience sparks a disproportionately intense reaction. That sudden outburst of irritation or wave of anxiety may not solely be about the present moment; it is often the result of compounded, unaddressed emotion from the past finally seeking an outlet. In this way, your body reacts on your behalf, bypassing your logical mind.
The Path to Release: Feeling to Heal
The solution is not to fear emotions or to strive for a life without them. It is to change your relationship with them. Healing begins with compassionate acknowledgement. The goal is not to launch into deep analysis during a busy workday, but to build a practice of gentle check-ins.
Start by pausing briefly to notice bodily sensations. Where do you feel tension or heaviness? Place a hand there and take three slow breaths. Then, with kindness, ask internally, "What am I feeling right now?" Simply naming the emotion—"This is stress," "This is grief," "This is overwhelm"—begins the process of integration. It signals to your nervous system that you are present and willing to listen.
A Practice of Integration
Consider this a form of emotional hygiene, as vital as brushing your teeth. You might incorporate a five-minute daily reflection to scan your body and acknowledge any felt emotion. Practices like mindful walking, journaling, or gentle stretching can also help move this energy through the body in a supportive way.
Remember, you are not your emotions. They are transient experiences passing through the vast landscape of your being. By allowing yourself to feel them, you prevent their silent accumulation. You reclaim the authority over your reactions and your wellbeing. The journey towards emotional health is not about eliminating discomfort, but about developing the capacity to be with all of your human experience, thereby freeing your body from the burden of storage and your mind from the fear of what lies within.
